flossing the cat

Dear Facebook Friends, Please forgive me for not posting any pictures of my darling little ones in their Roald Dahl Day costumes this week. You see, the thing is, we suck at school dress-up days. In our house, school dress-up days provoke a level of emotional fervour normally associated with nineteenth century melodrama. And besides, a photo of a child going blue in the face due to breathing problems caused by an admittedly cheap Mr Twit beard, pictured alongside a child whose face is so puffed up from twenty minutes of non-stop crying she looks more like Jupiter than Matilda, is a clear breach of the Facebook Picture Posting Etiquette Guide. This is not the first time I have failed to provide photographic evidence of school dress-up days for social media. Take last year's World Book Day. It started well, as is so often the case, with the ten-year-old announcing she wanted to go as 'Gangsta Granny'. "We can sort that in ten minutes!" I said smugly. ...