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Showing posts from May, 2016

TO A HUSBAND WITH NO SENSE OF SMELL

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My husband has a condition called anosmia. This means he has no sense of smell.  For the most part, this works out pretty well for me. For a start, I never have to buy scented sanitary towels. (Although why any woman needs a scented sanitary towel, unless she has a) neglected to change her sanitary pad in, like, two days, and also happens to be in a heatwave, or b) recently noticed her vagina is exuding a pyroclastic flow of green slime, is beyond me.)   Ditto any other feminine hygiene products.  But there are downsides to having a husband who can't smell. For example, deep down, my husband believes there is no such thing as a bad smell. He prefers the idea that bad smells are simply figments of my imagination, originating in deep-seated neuroses and hysteria. So, if I say, "Darling, the living room is redolent with the smell of shite", or, "Did you happen to tread in a bunch of dog shit when you went to get those logs from the garden and then smear it over